Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
