You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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