Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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