Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
