FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
