Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
