Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
