Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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