we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
sex in a hospital.. check
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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