you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
