I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
