We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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