Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
