Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
