One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
