Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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