He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
