Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The air was thick with penises
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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