Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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