How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize