i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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