So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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