He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
