cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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