I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
