guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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