How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
