no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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