Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize