Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
