do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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