i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
