this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize