What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
