I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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