I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize