not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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