pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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