haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Found your dick twin last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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