I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
