allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
