It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
