this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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