is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
