There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
