did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
