The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
