Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
