This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
