Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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