I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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