That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
