I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
