tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
honey bunches of taint.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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