Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize