im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
