Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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