do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
