Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Alive.
So much puke
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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