Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
