Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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