ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
