Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
