why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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