after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
