All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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