i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
